I dropped the ball in writing about my pregnancy with Vincent and then against with his first year. So this post is a major catch-up.
Now Justin wont admit this, but he was the one who seemed most into the idea of having another baby. I was hesitant as Mila had just weaned, and the thought of breastfeeding make me want to rip all my hair out. But I was watching a reality show where the son and his mother had a very sweet relationship and it made me want a little boy. So I told Justin, lets do it! I want a lil boy.
3. weeks. later.
I get a positive test. which was shocking since mila took so long to get.
I had some really high hopes for my pregnancies as I had easy ones with Mila and Lucy other than gaining a lot of weight. But I was in a really good working out routine and was eating so well I didn’t stress it.
Then I found out I was bleeding internally. It’s called a subchorionic (no clue how to spell that) hemmhorage (nope. cant spell that word either. stay in school kids.) Then we found out Vincent has a two vessel cord. THEN we found out he had fluids on his kidneys. It was like every visit was another reason to stress the pregnancy. I laid in bed for most of the first trimester thinking every pain was me losing the pregnancy. And the morning sickness was rough. Nothing sounded good but if I didn’t eat I was sick. Then I just kept waiting for it to ease up. and the second trimester came and went and still it was just a daily battle with nausea. having to eat high protein foods almost constantly just to keep from getting sick. And in the 3rd trimester it was no better. The only thing that killed the time was that we could not agree on a name. And everyone hated our ideas. We just didn’t like any of the names that are more current or trendy these days. I guess you’d say we are into classic boy names. I liked Sam, James, and Vincent. And Justin hated every name. lol. He kinda liked Dominic or some really polish names I cant spell. And he definitely hated all my middle name ideas.
So obviously I was so ready to go into labor. In fact I had scheduled an induction. DONT JUDGE. I had pre eclampsia with both girls and the induction was scheduled after my “due date” and was only if I was showing signs pre-e was creeping up again.
It was nice having a scheduled date like that though. We were able to get time off for Justin, we had house cleaners come the day before, my mom got time off. I got my nails done. it was like everything was perfectly planned.
Only then the day didn’t go as planned. Turns out early November is 40 weeks out from Valentines Day. That and a big storm meant a lot of ladies going into labor naturally and so I was bumped off the list at the hospital with other inductions or planned C-sections getting priority.
I WAS MISERABLE!!!! miserable. sick. tired. frustrated. not happy at all.
Then finally a few days of being told still no beds I just accepted that I’d probably go past 41 weeks. So Justin went to work and I was home like a normal night. the house got messy again but I didn’t want to clean so I just built a fire. naturally. that’s when I got a call from the hospital that they had a bed.
Now I know being caught off guard about when you are going to have the baby is typical. But for someone with anxiety like mine this completely threw me off and I was in a panick before I even go there. Cause now I’m calling my mom to get the girls and calling Justin to get time off work at the last minute. The house was a mess. My nails are now chipped. THIS WAS NOT THE PLAN!!!!
Then we get to the hospital and the stress of it all gets contractions going. so now i’m bouncing on a ball like “wtf. this so isn’t what I was picturing. I am so not the big prego bouncing on a ball type.” I just felt like a whale. that’s when the anxiety started to kick in. and I started shaking. And the nurses were all “you are just progressing really fast!” or “Its the fluids for your epidural making you cold” but I knew it was a panic attack. The cold toes and hands and shaking. I didn’t know what to make of it cause with the girls I was SO calm through all my labor.
Luckily Justin helped me relax and the staff and Northwest Hospital are fantastic and helped me stay calm and actually nap until it was time to push. And pushing went well. I push all my kids out pretty quick. And then he was here. November 17th, 2015. 2;28am. Vincent Aleksander Wojslaw. 8lbs 7oz. And the first thing he did was poop all over me.
Then we were all shocked to see that he has blonde hair. The next morning the girls and grandma came to visit. Lucy who was so worried about having a brother, she wanted another sister, was INSTANTLY in love.
We brought Vincent home, and if I hadn’t pushed him out myself I wouldn’t have believed he was mine. I loved him. But he was so different than I’d imagined. Just looking. But this was the case with all my babies. I can guess their personalities PERFECTLY! But in my dreams they look so different I was like “wait. where is my elvis baby with a head of black hair” he was peachy red with this white duck fur hair all over. Not just blonde. WHITE!
The adjustment from 1 to 2 was nothing in comparison to going from 2 kids to 3. I did not adjust well. I just felt like such a pro I thought “Hey what’s another baby?”. 3 is a shitshow. I was drowning. I didn’t get a moment to enjoy Vincent because it was more like just carrying him with me as I attempted to take care of the girls and myself.
But I did lay in bed every chance I got. Mila and Lucy spent a lot of time in the living room watching cartoons together eating cereal straight out of the box just so I could rest with Vincent. Its not what I imagined the first few weeks or even months would be like but it was the only way I was getting through each day.
This postpartum healing phases went on for weeks..and weeks. And actually months. We essentially hibernated for the rest of Fall and Winter. We got to know Vincent more and more. He’s very sweet and gentle and sensitive. But then also playful and wild but mostly just wants to be held cheek to cheek.